Hear! Hear! I definitely LIKE this Jungian look at external/internal validation. At that "other" place I feel we are the proverbial lab animals getting serotonin hits in the form of "likes" that keep us on the proverbial treadmill (please excuse the tired - literally, I got very little sleep last night - metaphors, dear poet). Keep posting and I will keep commenting...❤️
Jenna, thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not alone in feeling this way re the external LB! Your metaphor describes well the reasons why I had to leave the "other" place. I was drowning there and didn't need another blue meta thumb to save me! As you know, I'm not adverse to using the ❤️ button myself but like to accompany my likes with a thoughtful comment. I appreciate words so much more.
I love this thank you. I am definitely not immune to the pull of the like button and other measures of validation on social media. That’s why I often post at night so I don’t keep looking at stats, lol.
After reading your deeply moving post yesterday, Kristi (sadly, there are many family estrangements here too), I hoped this essay might resonate with you when viewed through the social media Like Button lens, and I’m so delighted that it has.
In pure synchronicity, reading your words was such an important moment for me, reminding me that I cannot leave those family estrangements out of my story. Thank you. 💕
Yes, I’ve realized the same. I’m also working on a memoir and at first wasn’t going to include it at all, then just a little bit, now I’ve realized the whole thing is integral to the story.
I'm in the same boat, Kristi. Talking with you is helping me see that estrangement is such a big part of my story too. I’ve barely written about it before, but maybe this is the year to start. As C.S. Lewis so beautifully once wrote, "Courage, dear heart." That feels like something we can both hold onto.
Hi Deborah, l can relate to the wounded child aspect and the people pleasing. It was internal validation l was really looking for with my incessant people pleasing, leading to a crash of sorts, about 10 years ago, on the cusp of turning 50. I gotta laugh, l came to the party of self realisation pretty late and what a decade l have had with what was about to unfold. The Universe doesn’t make mistakes and so it is with acceptance and compassion that l retrieved my inner child as part of my recovery. My writing in this space has been an act of self love and trust in my own vulnerability. The small community l connect with here l deeply value. I understand there is a social media element. My intent with likes is that the writing resonates, when l restack it is in the mindset that someone who hasn’t read the person, may come across their work. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and knowledge re the psychology. Now l have written my comment, l am gonna hit the arrow and the the like button 🤣🤣💜🙏🏼
Thank you so much Simone, not just for hitting the like button, but for sharing such kind and thoughtful words. Your story about rescuing your inner child as part of your own recovery resonates deeply as a recovering ‘people pleaser’ myself. And it's the same for me, joining Substack last month did feel like an act of self-love. Thank you for that gem! I find it to be such a warm, welcoming space filled with kindred spirits, where I’m slowly taking my time to explore posts at a leisurely pace ... like yourself seeking genuine connection within a small circle of like-minded souls. So, I'm thrilled to have met you here in what's often called 'one of the kindest corners of the internet'. Back to my post, yes, even something as simple as hitting the like button, when done with intention, can make a difference. It’s a small yet powerful act, I realise, that uplifts us all, reminding us that we’re not alone. Thanks again.
Hi Deborah, yes, I was told by an acquaintance this was a safe space and I figure that what I write about has a narrow appeal and that suits me — flying under the radar sits comfortably with me. I am not an avid social media user and a bit of an introvert, so it was a leap of faith to start Substack. It really gave me the impetus to write, and I hoped that I may connect with some like minded people, so I feel blessed to have met you here. I too take a leisurely pace to explore. We find each other through reading what resonates and writing what we need to express — often that which isn’t otherwise shared (for me), though it is in these small interactions that is the gift of connection for me. Thank you 🙏 💜 🧚🏼♀️
Simone, I found myself nodding in recognition throughout your reply! I feel joy and hope in my heart. Thank you so much for being here. I'm very much an introvert, a happy one and share your preference for flying under the radar. I'm already looking forward to when our words next meet on the page. 💜
Very interesting thoughts Deborah, thanks for sharing! This is exactly what I'm examining in my life right now, the journey I am on - letting go of that external need for validation and the superficial likes, the comparison to others (the aptly named thief of joy). I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. And I can feel that my creative energy is.. happier. Coming from a more authentic place. I'm still quite new here on Substack, but I am hoping to find more genuine connection, which is something I've been missing on other platforms.
Thank you for sharing your musings and reflections on my button post, Sarah. It's inspiring to hear how you're starting to let go of external validation and finding joy in your own creative energy. I completely relate to seeking genuine connections and can already feel the difference here on Substack. (I only joined three weeks ago myself.) Let's keep going and let our authentic selves shine through!
Thank you for bringing awareness to this "Like Button" phenomena of the digital world. Your words brought me back to my heart center and that was what I needed. Your writing on this topic is very thought provoking and helps me to step back a little and prioritize connection especially to myself.
Thank you Lana for reassuring me about posting 'the curious case of two buttons'. I must admit, my hand hovered for quite a while, unsure of how people would respond. Like many writers, I love heart-centred words best, not buttons, and hoped I had something to add to the conversation.
It is an excellent analysis, although, as you know, I was already aware of your opinion on this issue.
However, I believe that sometimes, for instance, when someone in my situation is not always ready to provide a suitable comment, the LB could assist them in showing their presence! Nevertheless, overall, I agree with you. Sending love and blessing.
Thank you my lovely friend. It’s true, I love words, not buttons. I know you know this, Aladin, we've been friends for too long! Thanks for reading; it’s a long one. I completely understand what you're saying, and as you know, I'm not averse to using the LB button myself, but I far more enjoy connecting with others' in words. I think being a ‘feeling’ type (INFP) goes a long way in my response. Poets, eh! Sending love and light.
Thank you so much Kristin, for your kind-hearted words! Knowing that my words resonate with you, not just here, but in other places too, is my greatest reward. I deeply appreciate your encouragement! Let's continue to share and inspire each other on this creative journey.
Wonderful post, reflections, and insights. I have noticed, like you, how our, how my "external like button" and comparing myself to others can be so hurtful, although sometimes needed, of course. Like you said, keeping ourselves "running the treadmill" or never slowing into ourselves. It's so easy to tip our self-worth to our self-in-other's eyes and lose ourself in our inner eyes. I hope I'm learning this finally. Thank you.
Thanks so much for connecting and sharing your reflections here, Ira. I completely understand what you mean about the external LB and the unhealthy ways in which we compare ourselves to others. Indeed, it's so easy to fall into the trap of seeking validation from external sources and losing sight of our own self-worth. I hope, like you, that I'm learning to navigate this balance. Your rich insights and company, as always, are much appreciated.
Your likes are most definitely a light in this world, Marisol! The thought that you put into your haiku is much appreciated by this poet, and many others too. Thank you!
It feels odd to Like this post, but I will anyway!
I know what you mean, Ian. So thanks for letting me know you enjoyed my post!
Hear! Hear! I definitely LIKE this Jungian look at external/internal validation. At that "other" place I feel we are the proverbial lab animals getting serotonin hits in the form of "likes" that keep us on the proverbial treadmill (please excuse the tired - literally, I got very little sleep last night - metaphors, dear poet). Keep posting and I will keep commenting...❤️
Jenna, thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not alone in feeling this way re the external LB! Your metaphor describes well the reasons why I had to leave the "other" place. I was drowning there and didn't need another blue meta thumb to save me! As you know, I'm not adverse to using the ❤️ button myself but like to accompany my likes with a thoughtful comment. I appreciate words so much more.
I love this thank you. I am definitely not immune to the pull of the like button and other measures of validation on social media. That’s why I often post at night so I don’t keep looking at stats, lol.
Thanks for a thought provoking essay💕
After reading your deeply moving post yesterday, Kristi (sadly, there are many family estrangements here too), I hoped this essay might resonate with you when viewed through the social media Like Button lens, and I’m so delighted that it has.
In pure synchronicity, reading your words was such an important moment for me, reminding me that I cannot leave those family estrangements out of my story. Thank you. 💕
Yes, I’ve realized the same. I’m also working on a memoir and at first wasn’t going to include it at all, then just a little bit, now I’ve realized the whole thing is integral to the story.
I'm in the same boat, Kristi. Talking with you is helping me see that estrangement is such a big part of my story too. I’ve barely written about it before, but maybe this is the year to start. As C.S. Lewis so beautifully once wrote, "Courage, dear heart." That feels like something we can both hold onto.
Yes!💕
Hi Deborah, l can relate to the wounded child aspect and the people pleasing. It was internal validation l was really looking for with my incessant people pleasing, leading to a crash of sorts, about 10 years ago, on the cusp of turning 50. I gotta laugh, l came to the party of self realisation pretty late and what a decade l have had with what was about to unfold. The Universe doesn’t make mistakes and so it is with acceptance and compassion that l retrieved my inner child as part of my recovery. My writing in this space has been an act of self love and trust in my own vulnerability. The small community l connect with here l deeply value. I understand there is a social media element. My intent with likes is that the writing resonates, when l restack it is in the mindset that someone who hasn’t read the person, may come across their work. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and knowledge re the psychology. Now l have written my comment, l am gonna hit the arrow and the the like button 🤣🤣💜🙏🏼
Thank you so much Simone, not just for hitting the like button, but for sharing such kind and thoughtful words. Your story about rescuing your inner child as part of your own recovery resonates deeply as a recovering ‘people pleaser’ myself. And it's the same for me, joining Substack last month did feel like an act of self-love. Thank you for that gem! I find it to be such a warm, welcoming space filled with kindred spirits, where I’m slowly taking my time to explore posts at a leisurely pace ... like yourself seeking genuine connection within a small circle of like-minded souls. So, I'm thrilled to have met you here in what's often called 'one of the kindest corners of the internet'. Back to my post, yes, even something as simple as hitting the like button, when done with intention, can make a difference. It’s a small yet powerful act, I realise, that uplifts us all, reminding us that we’re not alone. Thanks again.
Hi Deborah, yes, I was told by an acquaintance this was a safe space and I figure that what I write about has a narrow appeal and that suits me — flying under the radar sits comfortably with me. I am not an avid social media user and a bit of an introvert, so it was a leap of faith to start Substack. It really gave me the impetus to write, and I hoped that I may connect with some like minded people, so I feel blessed to have met you here. I too take a leisurely pace to explore. We find each other through reading what resonates and writing what we need to express — often that which isn’t otherwise shared (for me), though it is in these small interactions that is the gift of connection for me. Thank you 🙏 💜 🧚🏼♀️
Simone, I found myself nodding in recognition throughout your reply! I feel joy and hope in my heart. Thank you so much for being here. I'm very much an introvert, a happy one and share your preference for flying under the radar. I'm already looking forward to when our words next meet on the page. 💜
😊 🙏 ✍️ 💜 Joy — the inner child, she holds our heart space. Thank you ✨
Very interesting thoughts Deborah, thanks for sharing! This is exactly what I'm examining in my life right now, the journey I am on - letting go of that external need for validation and the superficial likes, the comparison to others (the aptly named thief of joy). I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. And I can feel that my creative energy is.. happier. Coming from a more authentic place. I'm still quite new here on Substack, but I am hoping to find more genuine connection, which is something I've been missing on other platforms.
Thank you for sharing your musings and reflections on my button post, Sarah. It's inspiring to hear how you're starting to let go of external validation and finding joy in your own creative energy. I completely relate to seeking genuine connections and can already feel the difference here on Substack. (I only joined three weeks ago myself.) Let's keep going and let our authentic selves shine through!
Thank you for bringing awareness to this "Like Button" phenomena of the digital world. Your words brought me back to my heart center and that was what I needed. Your writing on this topic is very thought provoking and helps me to step back a little and prioritize connection especially to myself.
🙏🏼💜
Thank you Lana for reassuring me about posting 'the curious case of two buttons'. I must admit, my hand hovered for quite a while, unsure of how people would respond. Like many writers, I love heart-centred words best, not buttons, and hoped I had something to add to the conversation.
Haha! I want to heart your reply Deborah! 💜
Haha! If only hearts had a “reply” button! 💜
Omgosh, exactly!
I know, I know!
It is an excellent analysis, although, as you know, I was already aware of your opinion on this issue.
However, I believe that sometimes, for instance, when someone in my situation is not always ready to provide a suitable comment, the LB could assist them in showing their presence! Nevertheless, overall, I agree with you. Sending love and blessing.
Thank you my lovely friend. It’s true, I love words, not buttons. I know you know this, Aladin, we've been friends for too long! Thanks for reading; it’s a long one. I completely understand what you're saying, and as you know, I'm not averse to using the LB button myself, but I far more enjoy connecting with others' in words. I think being a ‘feeling’ type (INFP) goes a long way in my response. Poets, eh! Sending love and light.
I love this! And I love your approach! Your comments always mean more to me than the heart. That said, it’s really hard to not long for those hearts.
Thank you so much Kristin, for your kind-hearted words! Knowing that my words resonate with you, not just here, but in other places too, is my greatest reward. I deeply appreciate your encouragement! Let's continue to share and inspire each other on this creative journey.
Wonderful post, reflections, and insights. I have noticed, like you, how our, how my "external like button" and comparing myself to others can be so hurtful, although sometimes needed, of course. Like you said, keeping ourselves "running the treadmill" or never slowing into ourselves. It's so easy to tip our self-worth to our self-in-other's eyes and lose ourself in our inner eyes. I hope I'm learning this finally. Thank you.
Thanks so much for connecting and sharing your reflections here, Ira. I completely understand what you mean about the external LB and the unhealthy ways in which we compare ourselves to others. Indeed, it's so easy to fall into the trap of seeking validation from external sources and losing sight of our own self-worth. I hope, like you, that I'm learning to navigate this balance. Your rich insights and company, as always, are much appreciated.
Press8ing the like button-- ha. A bit of irony. Thanks.
Thanks for the heart smile and chuckle, Ira! ❤
Yes, ‘Likes’ can lure, lie.
Our eternal internal
leads to the true heart.
...
Yet, can’t ‘Likes’ be lights,
helping helpful posts get read,
reach more reflectors?
Your likes are most definitely a light in this world, Marisol! The thought that you put into your haiku is much appreciated by this poet, and many others too. Thank you!